Married by Facebook

It happened to me. It was three weeks ago. It was long ago that opened the Facebook. In doing so I stumbled out suddenly with my profile. Status: "In a relationship." What the hell! I am not in any relationship. I am living with Virginia. What is more, a few days ago we went to the Domestic Partner Registry of the Regional Government of Valencia Community to get an appointment for the performance of official registration form. I found it something much more serious than I had imagined: "You each must bring a witness of legal age. You can specify the contractual conditions of your union, etc. So it seemed to me logical and sincere to change my "state" (if one wants to be sincere in Facebook, this is one of the small details that reveals that you are not a digital native). Unfortunately, there were only 2 more options: "Single" or "Married." So then: "Married. It was then the closest option. Is it not true that I am sharing with Vir costs of renting the house in which we live? Did not we just open a joint bank account? These are the things that really linked you with the loved one, more than children or a religious ceremony. These are the truly momentous decisions in your common daily life. So, after pondering for a few seconds, I decided to click the "Married" option.

Ten minutes later, an avalanche of congratulations flooded my wall. Most of my closest friends and my family pissed for not being invited to the wedding. Less close friends were pleasantly surprised to be confirmed from the distance that I have just turned to be a guy who takes things of life seriously. The simply known and whose relationship is primarily through Facebook, felt forced to congratulate me for having been revealed this transcendent act.

Oh my goodness, what a big mess! And the worst of all was that the same thing happened to Virginia in her Facebook wall. I swear I did not write in my profile in who I was "married." No matter: Facebook already knew. No doubt for Facebook who was my actual wife. And it was right! But, gee, what a way to announce a new detail of my profile!

When I went back into my profile I understood why all the fuss. Moments after activating the "Married" option, a phrase made up with giant bold characters was automatically written by the software of this infernal machine and it topped my Facebook wall: "José Ramón Alcalá has married Virpaniagua."

Overwhelmed, we could not deny it. It was not uncertain. After flushing and reprimands, came away a bit of physically and mentally distance allowing an ironic reasoning: In fact, as pointed Vir: “We had just married by Facebook”. Perhaps it is the first wedding which takes place through the official social certification of a social network. Then, we celebrate it. Long live the newlyweds!